How can I deal with my older sisters constant emotional abuse?

Chronic Health conditions list

I felt physical pain reading your question.

Iu2019m sorry youu2019re going through this.

I grew up with a very emotionally abusive older sister.

She was relentless.

,Here is my advice for you:,Avoid her as much as you can.

If youu2019re stuck living in the same house, try to be gone as much as possible (work, friends, staying after school to study, finding a spot in nature to breathe in fresh air, etc).

My sister lives on the east coast and I live on the west coast.

We havenu2019t spoken in 4 years (almost to the day as I write this) and I couldnu2019t be happier.

Itu2019s called going no-contact and if you can do it, go for it and donu2019t look back.

,Analyze the abuse and create a reaction plan.

Hereu2019s what I mean.

She knows you have triggers and she goes for them.

Maybe sheu2019s like my sister and she lies to everyone so they fight with each other.

Whatever it is, if you can stay calm, crack her code, and not react she will IMPLODE.

And, itu2019s amazing to watch.

One of the best feelings is watching your abuser fail at making you feel like shit.

,Get into therapy as soon as you can.

They say blood is thicker than water.

You know whatu2019s thicker than blood? Your sanity.

I know thatu2019s a terrible comparison but, I think you get the idea.

Find a therapist you can afford and trust.

If they do EMDR therapy, all the better.

Thatu2019s been very effective for me and you donu2019t have to talk as much.

Thereu2019s also science backing up itu2019s effectiveness.

Also, the self authoring course by Jordan Peterson is amazing.

Itu2019s a one-time purchase of like $30 and you do it from your computer.

Be sure to buy the package for the past, present, and future.

Worth every-freaking-penny.

,Learn about healthy boundaries.

OMG healthy boundaries.

I really wish I had looked into this sooner.

Nothing destroys healthy boundaries more than growing up with an abuser.

And, having poor boundaries creeps into EVERY aspect of your life.

The sooner you set healthy boundaries the better off your life and health will be.

,Work on loving yourself.

My sister told me daily about what a fat, ugly, stupid, unlovable loser I was and that I should have never been born.

Itu2019s crazy how YEARS of hearing that garbage can seep into your bones and become your own internal monologue.

Itu2019s SO hard to love myself.

I am SO FREAKING critical of myself itu2019s insane.

But, Iu2019m working on it every day.

Therapy and boundaries helps with this a lot.

I no longer hate myself.

,Take really good care of your physical body.

This one may seem strange but past trauma can kick off a shit storm that leads to chronic health conditions.

I have two now.

If I had taken better care of my body, I know I could have at least staved off these health conditions for a lot longer if not prevented them altogether.

,Find an outlet.

Years of emotional abuse left me angry af.

Exercise (combat sports) was my outlet until the chronic illness downward spiral took that from me.

But, get into something.

Paint, watch birds, hike, etc.

Whatever makes you feel alive.

,Talk to your parents if you can.

Itu2019s amazing how clueless even the most loving parents can be.

My parents are great people but they always dismissed my frustrations with our sister as u2018sibling rivalryu2019 ugh.

Now that weu2019re in our 30u2019s and my sister still acts like a manipulative jerk, itu2019s easier for them to see whatu2019s really going on.

I spoke with them about no-contact, that they didnu2019t have to do it but I was and needed their support (ie.

donu2019t beg me to attend functions where my sister will be) they were/have been really good about that.

,Create a loving community around yourself.

I left this for last because itu2019s been the hardest for me.

I finally have a few SOLID AF friends (like, Iu2019ve known them for almost 20 years and feel like I can fully trust them).

But, weeding through the manipulators, abusers, users, flakes, etc.

can take a long time.

Hang on to those few good ones and really be there for them just like you need them to be there for you.

Toss the rest, you owe them nothing and even though they can be fun, they are dead weight.

,Iu2019m sure this list is nowhere near complete but I hope it helps.

In the end, do whatu2019s best for YOU.

I donu2019t know you but, Iu2019m thinking about you and hoping for the best.

Chronic disease symptoms

I use a combination of THC and CBD to control the inflammation and pain from the nerve damage and spinal fusions in my back, as well as in both hips.

Usually I am able to only use cannabis for pain relief, but my condition has become degenerative, as it is spreading up and down my spine from my fusions.

As such, I must rely on opioids as a solution until as surgical one can be found.

I had my MRI yesterday.

,I didnu2019t think it was possible to control my pain without narcotics, but THC and CBD work really well together (especially in a 1:1 ratio) to control it.

The cannabis doesnu2019t have the kind of side effects that come with taking narcotics, and I am much MORE clear-headed when using marijuana than I am if I am taking prescript.



List of chronic diseases Wikipedia

If you are very rich, the USA has some of the best medical care in the world.

Maybe the best.

,But for 99% of the population, the USA is not near the top of nations on health care on any measure except how much it costs.

We pay more to get less.

,And our disability care is also not at all good.

,There are various methods for ranking countries.

This paper ranked the USA 37th on health care efficiency (see the paper for details on how they measured that).

This paper noted that we spend more per capita than any other country, but we have,Lowest life expectancy in the OECD,Highest chronic disease burden,Among the highest number of hospitalizations from preventable causes and the highest rate of avoidable deeaths.

,Wikipedia has survival rates for various diseases and, while we are best at breast cancer survival, thatu2019s the only one we are best at of the ones listed.

,And another Wikipedia page (rather dated, itu2019s from 2000) ranks health care systems in various countries.

The USA is in 37th place overall.

Most common chronic diseases

What are the most common chronic illnesses?A chronic or long-term illness means having to adjust to the demands of the illness and the therapy used to treat the condition.

There may be additional stresses, since chronic illness might change the way you live, see yourself and relate to others.

,Characteristics of a chronic illnessChronic illnesses are mostly characterised by:,complex causes,many risk factors,long latency periods (time between onset of the illness and feeling its effects),a long illness,functional impairment or disability.

,Most chronic illnesses do not fix themselves and are generally not cured completely.

Some can be immediately life-threatening, such as heart disease and stroke.

Others linger over time and need intensive management, such as diabetes.

Most chronic illnesses persist throughout a personu2019s life, but are not always the cause of death, such as arthritis.

,Common chronic illnessesWhile many illnesses can be considered chronic, there are 12 major chronic conditions that are a significant burden in terms of morbidity, mortality and healthcare costs in Australia, including:,heart disease,stroke,lung cancer,colorectal cancer,depression,type 2 diabetes,arthritis,osteoporosis,asthma,chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD),chronic kidney disease,oral disease.

,Common stresses of chronic illnessChronic or long-term illness and its treatment pose special problems.

You need to learn how to:,live with the physical effects of the illness,deal with the treatments,make sure there is clear communication with doctors,maintain emotional balance to cope with negative feelings,maintain confidence and a positive self-image.

Chronic illness definition UK

It would have been easier for me to help if you would have specified which autoimmune disease you wanted to do project on.

,Iu2019ll take the example of rheumatoid arthritis so as to make it easy for you and me.

First of all define your research question.

Iu2019ll cite example of my MD thesis.

It was titled u201cAssessment of Fatigue in Rheumatoid Arthritis (by Functional Assessment of Chronic Illness Therapy - Fatigue Score) and Its Relation to Disease Activity and Anemiau201d.

,Then, Remember PICOT.

,P - (Problem or Patient or Population),I - (Intervention or indicator or issue of interest),C - (Comparison or correlation or control),O - (Outcome of interest),T - (Time frame),Here in this research question,,u201cPu201d is rheumatoid arthritis patients.

Use an established classification criteria to define your patient population.

You need help of statistician to help you calculate number of patients you need in your study.

,u201cIu201d is assessment of disease activity, fatigue score and anemia.

Use standard definitions of scores or cutoffs you use in your study.

,u201cCu201d is finding correlation between disease activity and anemia; fatigue and anemia.

,u201cOu201d is the final result.

,u201cTu201d is time frame.

In this case it is not essential as above study is cross-sectional.

,I am also attaching link to my thesis paper which was published in the Journal of Clinical Rheumatology.

,Assessment of Fatigue in Rheumatoid Arthritis (by Functional Assessment of Chronic Illness Therapy-Fatigue Score) and Its Relation to Disease Activity and AnemiaAll the best.


Suvrat Arya, nClinical Immunologist and RheumatologistnMBBS (Gold Medal), MD (Medicine)nDM (Gold Medal) (Clinical Immunology & Rheumatology)nPost Doctoral Fellow (CMC Vellore), IUTF (UK)